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Holy God,
The past few days have been so hard; these past weeks unlike anything I have seen or sensed. There is suffering. And You spoke of this, You told us that we would have trouble in this world but to take heart because You have overcome it. And we do take heart, we do! You are more than enough!
But may I crawl up on Your lap and tell You that our hearts are breaking? That it’s such a good thing You give us a new one, because this one that beats within me humanly hurts with each new grief. My mind is abuzz, fighting off confusion (because that is NOT of You) and struggling to find peace (which You have never denied me).
LORD, with everything in me, I want to embrace Your purpose for this season. I don’t know what it is, so it seems impossible to wrap my life around it. But You don’t call me to embrace a purpose or a plan, You call me to embrace YOU. So, the best I know how, let me stand before You accountable and once more reaffirm that:
You ARE God in Heaven; there is none like You.
I am but a breath upon this earth, but I am still confident of this — I WILL see Your goodness in the land of the living.
Because You are the Holy One of Israel, the Prince of Peace, Emmanuel, I need not fear when evil men succeed in their ways; I wait patiently for You and You rescue me. You rescue those I love, those I know who need You, and You deliver us safe and will not allow Your servants to be put to shame.
Because each person I know who is hurting is precious in Your sight and because You love each one, You have given Your Son in ransom. As each passes through the water, You will be with them. As they pass through the rivers, they will not be swept over. Though each walks through the fire, they will not be burned, their clothes will not smell of smoke, and there will be a Fourth Figure walking in the furnace with them.
You are the God who HEALS the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds; You will not break a bruised reed.
Your peace passes my ability — our ability — to understand it. Your peace makes little “common sense” because it is hardly common: Your ways are higher than mine, Your thoughts are smarter than mine.
Though I see You through a glass darkly, I WILL see You one day, face to face. You have given me the spirit of sonship, by which I call You “Abba” — my Daddy God.
You are not my Santa-Claus, You give me the desires of my heart because You Yourself place the desires and will not answer when I ask with wrong motives. You save me from myself. And I thank You.
You have blotted out my transgressions, You have cleansed me from all unrighteousness, You have forgiven my iniquity. If I cherish sin in my heart, You will not hear my cry; but if I confess my sins You are FAITHFUL and just to forgive me my sins. How can I ever thank You enough???
You have not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. You establish the work of our hands; all that we have accomplished, LORD You have done for us.
The boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places for me, LORD. Great will be the peace of my children, for You show love to a thousand generations of those who love You. You hold us and protect us, You are our shield and rampart. You are our VERY GREAT REWARD.
Healeth, Thou, mine unbelief, sweet Jesus.
Sometimes my soul has to go back to what I know. Forgive me for my wondering and pondering; there are things I will not understand in this life because I wasn’t made to. Holy God, I will never understand why You bother with me at all, but I am SOOOOOO grateful that You do! Tears well up again as I think of the awful price You paid to set me free — and the fact that I will never, NEVER be without You because of it.
Oh, God! These things I see — be Warrior, LORD, ride out to save Your people once again. Deliver us from evil, comfort and protect us, and may these events only be reminders to draw closer to You as the painful “Why?” blurts out. Thank You that Your Spirit intercedes when we don’t know what to pray.
I’m blithering, yet speechless, Father. I love You SO much! We enter Your gates with thanksgiving and Your courts with praise!
Amen.
LORD,
Thank You for the precious moments that have been the shining stars of our past two weeks.
Thank You for my daughter’s infectious laughter and glorious smile — the sound of her voice and the sound of her name are both reminders of Your amazing love. And she already loves You, Lord — oh how she loves You! She’s perfect, Lord, and I love her so much! Thank You for the gift that is our little girl!
Thank You for my son’s precious eyes, big as saucers, that emphasize every story and dance at every delight. Thank You for his vivid imagination, amazing strength, and sweet heart. Holy God, he is everything I ever prayed for, perfect and precious — Thank You for him!
Father, I never dreamt of the kind of love I have for those precious angels now sleeping in their beds. You’ve made even the “hard days” precious, Lord, and I see eternity in their eyes. Thank You for this privilege, Lord! I love You, I love my family, and I love this amazing calling.
My cup runeth over, surely goodness and mercy are following me each day of my life; one thing I ask, that I may dwell in the House of my LORD and gaze on Your beauty forever. And may my children delight to do Your will because they’ve tasted the goodness of Your presence.
For quite a while now (think months upon months — I started this draft on July 6th, if that tells you anything), I’ve been mulling around the idea that God both uses the personalities He created within each of us to reflect Himself, I think He also uses our individual personalities to relate to us as well. Here’s what I’m thinking:
Moses had to have a burning bush. He then had to “argue” with God for several minutes before God’s anger burned against him in Exodus 4:14 and he finally submitted a few verses later. Abraham heard God say to sacrifice his only son and got up immediately the next morning to obey.
Esther did not reveal to anyone that she was Jewish. Paul was commanded to go boldly to those he’d initially tried to kill.
And today, in our myriad personalities, He speaks to us and through us. Differently, clearly, singularly.
His Word is living, active; sharper than a two edged sword it pierces through our motives and intents.
The same Word that is applicable to each of us today has been equally profitable for traininng in righteousness for each generation for the past 2000 years. How’s that for amazing?
So why am I so shocked when the Lord speaks to someone completely differently from how He speaks to me????
If we are all His unique creations, and He is the ultimate parent, then it stands to reason that He encourages us, directs us, disciplines us, and blesses us as individuals. How many of us would EVER dream of treating one of our children exactly the same way we treat their brothers and sisters? Ludicrous isn’t it; no two children are alike, therefore we attend to each uniquely.
I think we learned that from our Father.
To continue the micro-example of our own homes as example, we each have essential beliefs and basic expectations that apply to each child regardless of personality or bent. Attending church as a family, eating together at the table, not hitting or screaming to get one’s way, using silverware to eat — these don’t change with each happy face home from the hospital.
Acknowledging God as LORD, self as sinner, Jesus as Savior, and Heaven as Home — these don’t change either. Not for one of us, not for a generation of us, not for a race of us, not for a nation of us.
In our home specifically, there are things that vary. Chores depend on the child. Sometimes, a chore is given because it’s the particular strength of the child, sometimes because it’s the particular weakness. But I as Mommy and D as Daddy determine who sets the table and wipes things off and puts away boxes. Bedtimes vary in many households; littlest angels sleeping soundly by 8pm while older ones are finishing stories and bathroom trips to be tucked in by 9pm. And I’d like to think that in the majority of our homes, correction varies. In our home, my daughter is crushed by a time-out that removes her from the family; it literally breaks her spirit. So she serves hers in the hall where she can still see and hear everyone. My son, on the other hand, firmly believes that if anyone can see him — at anytime — he has an audience. Needless to say, he serves time-outs farther down the hall where we’re out of his sight. Do I do this to play on either’s weaknesses? NO! I do this BECAUSE of their weaknesses! My son will be overly tempted to not have any time-out if he thinks he can perform for us, and my daughter’s heart will break if her eyes meet only walls. I listen to the needs of my children.
Guess Who taught me that?
So, in the same vein, I believe God parents us differently from one another. And I don’t believe for one moment that He’s overwhelmed or disappointed by any of our quirks.
A brand new Christian makes her way to church on Sunday morning wearing a mini-skirt and puffing on her cigarette as she steps out of her car. She accidentally slips a non-appropriate word in her prayer request during the morning Bible study. And when she gets back into her car, she’s nearly jumping up and down because she really felt God’s presence in that place and heard His Word speak to her heart.
My best friend is openly Pentacostal. She prays in the Spirit on all occasions. She literally teaches her children, does her dishes, folds her laundry, and talks on the phone while talking to God. It’s amazing. When I call her with a prayer request, she either asks to pray right then or she gets off the phone and tells her husband so that they can agree together in prayer. And when they pray — OOOoooo, GLORY! And yes, it’s in tongues sometimes. And yes, she has the gift of prophecy that she shares in her church. And yes, she has the gift of interpretation. And yes, she respectfully prays silently when around other believers who don’t share her expressions of faith.
Another friend is vintage Baptist. Vintage. She prays on her knees, she sings and keeps her hands down, she is out on Monday night visitation every week of the world, she makes casseroles for new moms, aging parents, lonely college students, and bereft loved ones. She would sooner die than treat God like a “Buddy” but she sure loves spending time in His Word. And she reverently prays with head bowed and eyes closed, never looking around, when she’s among the members of her church or in the midst of those who believe in more “emotional displays of faith” (as she calls them).
A man I’m aquainted with is covered in tattoos. He spends his quiet time listening to the hardest music I’ve ever heard, Bible open and pen flying, eyes intermittently closed as groans emerge. He doesn’t attend a “church,” says the last one he was at threw him out (and he laughs about it), so on Friday nights, he takes his Bible and his tithe and goes to a club downtown to look for street kids. He’ll round up a passle of them, take them to the Varsity, and buy them what’s usually the only meal they’ve eaten in a week. They talk about the kids’ stories, how they got to the streets and why they stay. And before the night is over, he usually pulls out his Bible, explains how and why he chose to stop living on the streets and now just visits. Sometimes, all he can do is ask them what he can pray for them. Sometimes, they’ll ask him to pray right then. And sometimes, they come back to him the next week to ask for a Bible of their own. And sometimes, when this man does come to a church event, he sits at the back with his Bible and his pen and silently raises his hand & bows his head when he hears something that reminds him how precious his Jesus really is.
In our homeschool group is a husband and wife with five children who attend a fundamental independent church. Faithfully, the boys in their chinos and the girls in their jumpers prepare meals for elderly neighbors and deliver them about noontime three days a week. Their father prays in King James English and their mother will not cut her daughters’ hair out of respect for keeping a headcovering to honor the Lord. The seven of them memorize Scripture (in KJV only) as a family, they have family outings in place of dating, and they treasure the beauty of God-ordained authority and Christ centered submission. Though they don’t listen to songs with syncopated rhythms, I’ve seen them at more “contemporary” worship services, faces beaming with love for their Lord.
Each of these ten people worships a very real, very alive, VERY PERSONAL Lord and Savior.
Each worships Him differently.
Each serves differently, each prays differently, each relates to Him differently. Many are the members of the One blessed Body.
So who am I to say, and I (shamefully) have, that, “No, honey, there’s no such thing as speaking in tongues today” or “You really should do more than planned outreach; just because you know an outline to ‘evangelize’ doesn’t mean you’re reaching people” or “You really need to be in a church building EVERY Sunday” or “You do know that tribes in Africa will never be able to read the KJV, so it can’t be the translation to use” — why would I do that???? This is why pure theology frustrates the hound out of me; I have to be very, very careful that I don’t become so focused on who/what I think is right that I miss the Righteous One I love. At the end of the day, I can tell you that too much time in “doctrine” for me equals division; I tend to start thinking we should all be alike. And we’re so obviously — and beautifully — not.
God of all the universe, Precious Father…. LORD… You didn’t make any one person as a “carbon copy” of another. Your creativity NEVER ends — You didn’t even have to duplicate personalities from one millennium to the next because You are so infinitely creative. And You don’t ordain praise from any aspect of Your creation to be identical — the rocks and trees have been subjected to frustration until Your return, but should we fail to praise You, they will cry out; the sky, the stars, the moon, the clouds all sing out, bearing witness day after day of the Glorious Hand that formed them and called them into being and by name; from the lips of infants, You have ordained praise — You mean those sweet burbles and giggles that light up my heart really do ignite Yours as well? OH, You are a PRECIOUS GOD!
So, Father, if it’s ok with You, I borrow Nichole Nordeman’s words and ask to lay it down a little, lay it down a lot. God, I don’t understand all the ways Your Name is lifted up. I confess my frustration and repent of my resentment with the “rules” and “expectations” of what feel like traditions made of men. LORD, teach me to worship You in the specific way You desire to be praised from this heart. Whatever that looks like, however it sounds, Lord, show me in Your Word so that You may be reflected in this life. And until then, please (and I’m ’bout nearly scared to pray this) keep me humbled before others’ worship. Please continue to remind me that all who call upon the Name of Jesus shall be saved, those whom the Father has given cannot be taken from His Hand, we are to go into every nation (and every backyard) and preach the Good News of relationship with You teaching them to observe what YOU have commanded, and that ONLY our Master is able to make us stand or fall. I LOVE YOU, Lord, and I want to better love Your people. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God. May Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.
You are truly beautiful, Jesus!
Amen.
Just DELIGHTFUL!
That’s today! Absolutely DELIGHTFUL! Thank You, for this, Father! Because YOU ARE AMAZING! And though I don’t deserve this kind of beautiful, peaceful day, and so I’m twice as — maybe a HUNDRED times — more grateful for it.
And so, THANK YOU for this gift!
I love You, Lord! It’s a beautiful, delightful day!
In Your Name,
Amen
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