Holy God,

The past few days have been so hard; these past weeks unlike anything I have seen or sensed.  There is suffering.  And You spoke of this, You told us that we would have trouble in this world but to take heart because You have overcome it.  And we do take heart, we do!   You are more than enough!

But may I crawl up on Your lap and tell You that our hearts are breaking?  That it’s such a good thing You give us a new one, because this one that beats within me humanly hurts with each new grief.  My mind is abuzz, fighting off confusion (because that is NOT of You) and struggling to find peace (which You have never denied me).

LORD, with everything in me, I want to embrace Your purpose for this season.  I don’t know what it is, so it seems impossible to wrap my life around it.  But You don’t call me to embrace a purpose or a plan, You call me to embrace YOU.  So, the best I know how, let me stand before You accountable and once more reaffirm that:

You ARE God in Heaven; there is none like You.

I am but a breath upon this earth, but I am still confident of this — I WILL see Your goodness in the land of the living.

Because You are the Holy One of Israel, the Prince of Peace, Emmanuel, I need not fear when evil men succeed in their ways; I wait patiently for You and You rescue me.  You rescue those I love, those I know who need You, and You deliver us safe and will not allow Your servants to be put to shame.

Because each person I know who is hurting is precious in Your sight and because You love each one, You have given Your Son in ransom.  As each passes through the water, You will be with them.  As they pass through the rivers, they will not be swept over.  Though each walks through the fire, they will not be burned, their clothes will not smell of smoke, and there will be a Fourth Figure walking in the furnace with them.

You are the God who HEALS the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds; You will not break a bruised reed.

Your peace passes my ability — our ability — to understand it.  Your peace makes little “common sense” because it is hardly common:  Your ways are higher than mine, Your thoughts are smarter than mine.

Though I see You through a glass darkly, I WILL see You one day, face to face.  You have given me the spirit of sonship, by which I call You “Abba” — my Daddy God.

You are not my Santa-Claus, You give me the desires of my heart because You Yourself place the desires and will not answer when I ask with wrong motives.  You save me from myself.  And I thank You.

You have blotted out my transgressions, You have cleansed me from all unrighteousness, You have forgiven my iniquity.  If I cherish sin in my heart, You will not hear my cry; but if I confess my sins You are FAITHFUL and just to forgive me my sins.  How can I ever thank You enough???

You have not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.  You establish the work of our hands; all that we have accomplished, LORD You have done for us.

The boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places for me, LORD.  Great will be the peace of my children, for You show love to a thousand generations of those who love You.  You hold us and protect us, You are our shield and rampart. You are our VERY GREAT REWARD.

Healeth, Thou, mine unbelief, sweet Jesus.

Sometimes my soul has to go back to what I know.  Forgive me for my wondering and pondering; there are things I will not understand in this life because I wasn’t made to.  Holy God, I will never understand why You bother with me at all, but I am SOOOOOO grateful that You do!  Tears well up again as I think of the awful price You paid to set me free — and the fact that I will never, NEVER be without You because of it.

Oh, God!  These things I see — be Warrior, LORD, ride out to save Your people once again.  Deliver us from evil, comfort and protect us, and may these events only be reminders to draw closer to You as the painful “Why?” blurts out.  Thank You that Your Spirit intercedes when we don’t know what to pray.

I’m blithering, yet speechless, Father.  I love You SO much!  We enter Your gates with thanksgiving and Your courts with praise!

Amen.