It’s 7:30pm and I’m sitting on my deck choking back sobs. This has undoubtedly been one the most intense Good Fridays I’ve ever known. Each time I looked at the clock today, I’d think, “Well, right now He’d be…” and the image of Jesus being spat on, screamed at, beaten, and hung on the Cross would sear across my brain. It felt like all that was happening while I was just here, doing my little life.

Yesterday, dear friends of mine said a somewhat unexpected goodbye to her Daddy. Today, I read a fellow Mom blogger’s comment that her daughter is fading today. Quite unexpectedly I gather. And I’m thinking of all those who are already Home. My Mama and Grandmama in particular.

And my Jesus. Whose voice I’ve struggled to hear this week and whose Word I’ve not necessarily heeded. Hence the struggle, I’m sure. So the tears. My heart is heavy. And my mind is reeling.

Jesus, You took my death; You are our peace. Please forgive me. Forgive me! Because of my sin, You hung on the cross. Why do You love me??? Thank You for honoring Your Father; thank You for being a willing sacrifice. I love You, my Lord.

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